DEAR HARRIETTE: I have a friend or family member who wrote me an anonymous note telling me that I should teach my 13-year-old son to have better hygiene. I opened my mailbox last week and found it, and I started crying.
Related Articles
Harriette Cole: My son says he’ll never forgive me for selling his inheritance
Harriette Cole: Should I tell the truth about why I ditched them on our trip?
Harriette Cole: My Sunday excess spilled over into work hours
Harriette Cole: Will I be able to convince my fiance we should have babies?
Harriette Cole: This disagreement over my luxury car might break our engagement
We live on a farm, and my son loves to spend a lot of time with our pigs, cows and goats. He loves taking care of them every day because they are his pride and joy. As a result of this, he and his clothes often end up having a distinct scent on them from the animals. He tries to get it off of him, but it sticks.
I am offended and upset that someone wouldn’t have the guts to tell me to my face. Instead, they chose to leave a note without signing their name.
I now feel as if I can’t trust the people around me anymore, and I feel as if it could’ve been anyone from my life. How am I supposed to find out who did this and confront them?
— My Son’s Hygiene
DEAR MY SON’S HYGIENE: I’m sorry, but I think you are looking at this through the wrong lens.
It isn’t that the person lacks courage. I believe the message was delivered anonymously so that you can seriously address this situation rather than get in a rage over the messenger.
Stop trying to figure out who wrote it. Start getting creative on helping your teen son learn how to take better care of his body and clothing as he continues to love his animals.
This may mean separating what clothes he can wear when handling the animals — including washing and storing them separately as well. Find a stronger soap for him to bathe his body. Ask some of your male farmer friends what they recommend for cleanliness.
This is not a new problem for farmers. Somebody should have solutions you can try. Forgive the messenger, and receive the message.
DEAR HARRIETTE: My friend’s aunt allowed me to rent a room in her house until October. However, I found a new place and will be moving out earlier than expected. Now my friend’s aunt is expecting me to pay rent for the month of September, even though I won’t be living there.
While I understand it was a previously agreed-upon arrangement, I can’t help feeling uncomfortable about this request. It’s not like I signed a lease or anything. Would I be wrong to decline?
— Moving Out
DEAR MOVING OUT: Though you did not sign a lease, you had an agreement that you are breaking. Your moving out impacts this woman’s income. Yes, you should pay her the full amount you committed to giving her.
If you absolutely cannot pay her for the time you committed to staying at her home, offer to pay her at least half. She deserves to be paid for the time you reserved that room.
You should not have an attitude about it. She rescued you in your time of need. Don’t disrespect her now because you are moving on.
Harriette Cole is a lifestylist and founder of DREAMLEAPERS, an initiative to help people access and activate their dreams. You can send questions to [email protected] or c/o Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Related Articles
Miss Manners: Can I poke them if they sleep during my son’s performance?
Dear Abby: Do I owe an apology to the restaurant owner after this blow-up?
Ask Amy: We already have too many wedding guests, and now there’s this problem
Harriette Cole: My son says he’ll never forgive me for selling his inheritance
Miss Manners: He insists on the grandchildren using this ridiculous name
